Izih-Deer-Kam

When I was young, I already had a great fondness for nature. As I grew older, I discovered the Great Mother through the wicca movement and at the age of 11, I dedicated myself to Her. She inspired me and gave me a deep sense of Being through the cycle of nature. I was able to surrender to the changes, in myself and around me. From Her, I learned to transcend the wheel, to stand in the middle.

During my adolescence, I completely lost that connection due to some unpleasant events. I wandered through the world like a seeker, searching for my self, my identity in this tangle, this jumble of impressions. Completely engrossed in my head. Thinking, knowledge, performance, strength without vulnerability, rationality, analysis.... I had no awareness of my menstrual cycle anymore because I was on the pill, I had no idea of my beautiful female rhythm that was identical to the circle of life and the Moon. I had lost nature because I lived in the city, I drank, smoked and I went partying every weekend. I did not find myself, on the contrary; I only lost myself more as a result....

Later, I started to delve again into the natural religion and mythology of these regions; of the Netherlands and north-western Europe. I discovered paganism and came into contact with the Matrons and the goddess cult, the religion of the indigenous Europeans.
I began to recognise the symbols in the religion of my ancestors, from reindeer hunter to Christianity. Through the books of Marija Gimbutas and Annine van der Meer, I learned to recognise the Goddess language again, to read Her hidden language again.
All this gave me a tremendous feeling of coming home, of recognition, with Her I belonged, It was She who had always called me, either whispering but compellingly, even when I was so young.... And like a seed that planted itself in me on the eve when my father died and together we saw planet Venus shining in the sky, bright as a beacon as my father described it, so began my transformation. When he died, something deep inside me also died...and at the same time I was reborn, by the Lady in the sky, that's how it felt, the Dark Death Lady. An intensely mystical experience that I can only somewhat put into words through poetry.
I was completely empty, stripped of any idea of identity, and it was then that I returned home and everything slowly began to fit back together....
I was who I was again, who I needed to be, the fog lifted, I stopped dyeing my hair, smoking and drinking and went to live in my father's house in the polders, away from the smelly city with all its noise; silence at last. Peace. Literally and figuratively coming home to my native soil.
Then I started suffering from unexplained anxiety and heart arrhythmias. The doctors said nothing was wrong and I couldn't explain my spontaneous fears of all kinds of things either. For a year, I languished with these physical and mental symptoms until I lost my o
Then I started suffering from unexplained anxiety and cardiac arrhythmias. The doctors said nothing was wrong and I couldn't explain my spontaneous fears of all kinds of things either. For a year I languished with these physical and mental symptoms, until I quit my old job and dedicated myself to spiritual work and shamanism. From then on, everything calmed down and the symptoms disappeared.

Mother Earth is currently suffering because of our way of life. This cannot go on any longer, we are causing her and her creatures a lot of suffering. It is my mission not only to help people connect with their own soul and the feminine in order to become personally more balanced, but also our Mother Earth needs our help. The message that we are one behind all forms, that there is a source where we all come from, we so desperately need at this time to realise that what we do to each other and the Earth, we also do to ourselves.
It is my deepest wish that we re-learn that we are all connected and we are part of nature, rather than above it. I want to contribute to people around me becoming aware of the love that emanates from this oneness and to think more carefully about their way of living in relation to others, themselves, animals and our beautiful planet.

I work within the tradition of Spirit of Wolf and am a personal disciple of Shaman Morsuk. This tradition comes from Chakassia, Siberia but can rightly be called Classical or Traditional Shamanism. I work with Dutch spirits, ancestors and other spirits at all times - despite working within the above tradition. These do not bite each other at all.

We need to learn to speak the language of nature again. Not only Lowland traditions and paganism, but also Europe and all our ancestors. We, descendants, can do this. Not only the language of nature, but also of love and unity. We come from the same source of Origin, all people on earth, we are brothers and sisters. Let us celebrate unity in diversity. Let us embrace each other in love.

White Ways wished!

- Izih-Deer-Kam, 2023